A new year - A new me?

I had big dreams for 2026. I got a new job that I was going to be great at. I have a new relationship that was going to be the BIG relationship! Somehow, I still screwed that up. I'm not really that surprised. I always seem to screw things up.

On 12/27/25, I decided to go out with a friend and celebrate that I found a new job, and quitting the toxic job. But all the fun came to a crashing halt when I got pulled over. You see, I had a couple beers and knew I should have eaten something earlier, but I didn't do what I was supposed to do. Instead, I drank my beers and left. I didn't feel intoxicated, but the breathalyzer showed a different number. Now here I am, dealing with court and fees. My license was suspended and I have to go to court to find out what my punishment will be. 

I accept that I did wrong and understand there are consequences that must be paid. I am afraid of how severe these consequences will be. I fear jail time. I fear being fired from my job. I fear not being able to drive to work. I fear falling into a depression that I can't get myself out of.

The big thing about me is that I try to stay as positive as possible. I struggle with the dark thoughts but talk myself out quickly by, essentially, changing the subject. It comes in handy that I have ADHD and it can be really easy to change the direction of my thoughts. I don't like negativity for me or anyone else. One of my love languages is words of encouragement. It's not just a love language I give to others, but I also show that kind of love to myself. Some find it strange, but I believe in self-love!

So, what does this all mean for me? I am trying to stay positive even through my current dark times. I will continue to put a smile on my face despite fears. I will continue to be my annoying bubbly self. 

How do you work through your dark times? How do you move past your fears and stay positive?