Manners - "a person's outward bearing or way of behaving toward others" or "polite or well-bred social behavior"
This is the definition of MANNERS. Why am I explaining what manners are? Because it seems that many people forget the reason why manners are important. And it's not just about manners but a show of respect to the people around you.
The other day, I was out at a restaurant. At the table next to me were two older women, around 50-55 perhaps, that became irate at a server for calling them "ma'am". The server became flustered and tried to explain that he was just trying to be polite, but they were not listening and requested for the manager. They continued to berate the server and tell the manager to train their employees better so that they do not condescend or offend future patrons.
Let me give you a little background on the terms MA'AM and SIR. Per etymonline.com, ma'am is the "colloquial shortening of madam" which was the "ordinary respectful form of address to a married woman". Later it "became a conventional term of address to women of any degree" but was still mainly used for married or "matronly" women. Eventually, this term was used in the southern area of the US as a respectful term applied to all women.
When I was younger, my parents taught me to say "sir" and "ma'am" to anyone that was an adult. If these women are from my generation, there is a high chance they, too, were taught to be respectful and use the terms in much the same way. I know I had many teachers explain why these terms were respectful to use towards anyone that could be perceived as "older". This young man did not call the women "ma'am" to be disrespectful but to show them that he sees them as his elders and with respect called them ma'am because that was what they were. The server did nothing wrong and should not have been chastised for showing respect.
Did you know there are other terms that I have heard people take offense towards? We have titles that we give women who are single at a younger age, and we have ones for single women of a more mature age. As a single woman of middle-age, I tell people I am Ms. Young. If I was in my 20s or younger, I would tell them I'm Miss Young. Both of these are respectful titles to show that I am unmarried. One of my friends, who is older than me, refuses to be called Ms. Anything. She finds it disrespectful to her relationship status, and she is willing to argue until blue in the face about how rude the Ms. title is. Strange hill to die on but she is up for the challenge of it, I guess.
What has happened to the world that has caused people to become offended at the use of manners? Is social media to blame? And to be specific, it's women that seem to be the most offended, but I think offense happens by both genders. They get offended when a man opens a door for them. They get offended when the door isn't opened for them. Has feminism completely destroyed manners and respectful actions? Are people tired of getting yelled at by "Karens" so much that we no longer even want to try to be kind and respectful of others? Is this issue just in the US or is this happening worldwide? What are your thoughts on manners in today's world? I would love to know others' opinions on why common courtesies, and manners are no longer given?
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