I'm tired. I've been tired for months!! Have you ever felt exhausted even after getting 8 hours of sleep a night? It's as if my body is not acknowledging the fact that I've slept! This is the kind of exhaustion that I call "The Burnout of Life". It doesn't matter how much sleep I get or downtime that I take - I AM EXHAUSTED!!
So, the best thing I can do is acknowledge why I am so tired all the time. Let me count the ways...
- I am 47-years old and currently living through my mid-life. Its technically called perimenopause but the fun name is Cougar Puberty. And that is exactly what it is! I feel like I am going through a second puberty. I didn't like the first time going through this!
"Perimenopause is the transitional phase leading up to menopause, during which a woman's ovaries gradually produce less estrogen. This period can last several years and is characterized by irregular menstrual cycles, hormonal fluctuations, and various symptoms such as hot flashes, sleep disturbances, and mood changes. As estrogen levels decline, women may experience a range of physical and emotional changes as their bodies adjust to the approaching end of their reproductive years." (mayoclinic.org) Yes, this is what I am experiencing, and I am not enjoying it at all!
2. I have a lot of personal stresses that are slowly resolving but at a snail's pace. These stresses include:
- Struggling with my relationship with my parents. For the last 5.5 years, I have been living with my parents. This was to help me save money to move into a better apartment and to help them with some financial assistance. This was not a healthy relationship. My father was a bully. He would make jokes about personal and character flaws, and I was offended or became defensive he would tell me it was just a joke and to get over it. He never apologized for being insensitive. One of the jokes was prior to my weight loss surgery. We made dinner and when I went to get a plate, he said to not eat it all and to leave some for everyone. He knew I was sensitive about my weight gain. He knew I wouldn't take it as funny. Instead, I placed my plate down and asked him why he would say such a thing? He said it was just a funny and that I'm being too sensitive. So, I left the kitchen angrily and hurt. My mother heard the comment he made and did nothing. She did tell him he hurt my feelings, but he felt zero remorse. When I came back out of my room to leave the house, he said he was sorry then added a BUT and said BUT it was just a joke. With tears in my eyes, I told him it wasn't funny and I don't know why he would think making me feel bad about my size would be funny. I left and just drove around, crying and cursing him. I broke that day. From then on, my respect for the man that said he loved me, disappeared and turned into resentment over time. Very recently, my parents sold their house and moved to Tennessee, and I am now on my own...finally. I don't know if this move will heal our relationship, but I do know that my heart will now have time to heal.
- My DUI situation. I recently went to court and admitted guilt to driving under the influence. I received my sentencing and I am now able to move forward. This situation has caused me many sleepless nights. I know I will continue to stress over this situation, primarily due to the large amount of money I will have to pay out for the next 6-9 months. I have to find a way to get additional income without having access to my car. I need new insurance which will cost me twice as much as before. Did you know that when you have to go to jail, you pay the jail to stay there? Yup. I have to pay the jail $300 when I "self-surrender". It really does pay to commit a crime. The criminal ends up paying a lot!! But I have a path and a plan to complete my punishment and that has helped reduce a lot of my stresses.
All in all - things will get better. I will work on getting better sleep. I will work on earning more income. I will try and heal from relationship traumas.
What are some ways that help you reduce stress and fatigue?
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